(ThySistas.com) Love is painful in so many ways, but when you love someone that is doing damage to themselves through addiction, it can be the worst kind of pain. And people may tell you to get out of there because it will have its impact on you and your mental health, but it’s never that simple, is it? When we love someone who is going through a hard time, we feel it too. But there are ways you can learn to cope when going through this.
Coping Strategies
This has to be priority number one. If you don’t have the appropriate strategies in place to cope it will end up dragging you down to the pits of despair. The first thing to face up to is reality.
This is real, and it’s not some fantasy world where you can carry on in the hope that everything magically gets better. We all wish it would be that way. So if you have decided to stick by your loved one and try and get them the support they deserve, you may bear the brunt of a lot of it, which is difficult. We hurt the ones we love the most after all. But there’s a line between bearing the brunt and abuse, and you should never succumb to abuse in any way, shape or form. Learning your own coping mechanism could mean employing tough love with the person, or by getting professional help yourself to learn some handy tricks.
Understand The Difference Between “Helping” and “Enabling”
You may feel that you need to help your loved one by giving them certain things, but you may end up helping in an unhealthy way, also known as “enabling.” If your loved one has an alcohol dependency, giving them money for food may very well just go on alcohol rather than anything else, such is their need. If you feel you are an enabler or aren’t helping the situation, this may be something you need to address within yourself, and you will quite probably have to establish some boundaries with your loved one or be more assertive in specific situations. For a loved one who has an alcohol problem, you may need to seek professional help if you are unable to control the situation at home anymore. There are numerous alcohol detox centers and professional establishments you can contact locally. But if you come to the realization that you are enabling their behavior, it’s important to not blame yourself because you were only trying to help. Recognizing that within yourself is vital to the recovery of your loved one.
Realize You Cannot Fix Them
You have no control over another person, the only person you have control over is yourself. Once you come to this realization and you accept it, the whole process becomes much easier. If a loved one has an addiction, you can take as many precautions as possible to steer them in the right direction, but you can’t magically fix them. It is a long road, and you need to look after yourself as well as the one you love.
Staff Writer; Shawna Page