Saturday, August 15, 2020


Black Women Come Together.

If we don’t want to feed the unhuman narrative of the “Overly Strong Black Woman” let’s start with simply tending to our own house. No one is saying don’t care; however, we are in a serious war with our nation and this battle gets more furious by the day. We are dying in the streets and hanging from trees. We must be about the needs of our community and people. Black lives mattering and staying alive must be our chief priority.

Your Schedule is Important.

Furthermore, you are sending a message to others that you have plenty of expendable time when that is furthest from the truth. Your schedule, which equates to the moving parts of your life, is important. Value that schedule, and demand that others value it in kind. Be unapologetic about taking care of your first order of business, you and your household. This will allow you to actually taste and enjoy relaxation. It will also expose to you the relationships in your life that need to be re-defined or ended as they are toxic. Make you and the work you do a priority without excuse.

I Don’t Want to Know Her Business.

Spinning a scenario to get insight on how to help a sistah get through a situation you don’t quite understand is very different from mocking her. It is important to realize the young ladies of our community see this, and it enters their life at a very young age. There are young girls in grade school that are on their way to mastering tearing down their so-called friend by telling said friend’s business. We must do better for ourselves and the next generation. Authenticity and loyalty are needed…this includes not speaking business that doesn’t belong to you.

Let Her Learn the Hard Way.

Granted, I know this will be extremely hard because you don’t want to see a sistah dear to you go through pain. However, you also know she doesn’t know how to manager her pain, and you must be responsible for your energy. If you take an account of your life you might find that you are having trouble getting things done internally and externally for self because you are drained and hurting. Replenish your energy and protect your emotional state; let her learn.

Sometimes You Can’t Save Your Sister Friend.

Sometimes you can’t save your sister friend even when you greatly want her to be in a better space. There will be those that won’t allow it, some spaces you don’t understand or have means, and others that will become draining for you. In every situation you can always pray and let her know you are in her corner cheering for her to win.

Why Does She Continue to Stay?

The priority to help women in abusive relationships is to let them maintain power and control in their decision making.  They already have a partner telling them what to do and when to do it.  So don’t be that friend, family member or resource that’s barking orders at them.  Instead, be that support system that they need in that moment and crisis and respect whatever decision they make, even when you don’t agree with it.  Call the national domestic violence hotline (800)799-7233 for more resources and information specifically for your city, town or state.

Check on Your Strong Friend.

The sisters that stand by us no matter what we face, nor what they are dealing with, are a true blessing to our life. Never allow her to forget how much of a blessing she is to you, her family, and her community.

Do Something Different.

Sisters, if we demand this from children, we must show them the way by living this very same principle.  Start with self, and the different will come.

Choose Happiness This Year.

You will decide on many things in 2019…allow happiness to be your choice. Take this area of control back from the world because it belongs to you, and you alone.

Collaboration Over Competition.

January 20, 2019 by  
Filed under Business, News, Opinion, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

Collaboration over competition starts with shifting your mindset to view another woman as your sister and not your predator.  As women united we can stand proud, once we’re divided we shall and will fall.

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