(ThySistas.com) I strongly believe every human being is born with a purpose. None of are simply here by chance. Finding one’s purpose is important as it is central to the concept of fulfillment in life. Moving with a lack of purpose can cause one to feel as though they are like a hamster on a wheel…running but getting nowhere. When the understanding of purpose is missing there can be a misunderstanding of titles, and the role they play in your life. Titles come with responsibilities and expectation based on said title. The best example that comes to mind is that of a parent. The title parent comes with a laundry list of responsibilities, and if not careful the title can easily be misunderstood as purpose. This could be why some relationships are going through challenges, because the relationship has become a place holder for purpose.
Unfortunately, this isn’t something that happens simply of our own making. Getting married comes with another title, for the purpose of this conversation, we know to be wife. There are many responsibilities, expectations, and even benefits to being a wife. However, there can be an issue when others in one’s family see the title of wife as being one’s purpose. They claim to be supportive of you getting your “little” degree or having your “little” career. Yet, the treating of one’s purpose as little is cutting. To make the matter worse those that would do such don’t want their daughter[s], or the women in their family to be limited in this way. But being a wife should be your everything as though you didn’t find your purpose until you said, “I do”. This is infuriating, and it’s hurtful.
It’s important to note that sometimes social conditioning is the reason titles are placed before purpose. Sometimes those responsible from the hurt really think they are helping, or imparting wisdom, when they place your purpose behind your husband…verses along side him. They feel they are helping another family strive and survive by instructing their sons to “lead and provide”, as if the purpose of the wife can wait. Though the intent is not to do harm, damage is still done and it’s not acceptable. Unfortunately, this is a case of too many people in your marriage, and a wife feeling as though her purpose has the right to be navigated by someone other than her. A marriage can be supported by many in terms of positivity and positive wisdom; however, it should only include God, and the two people in the relationship. When others begin to cross the boundaries of your marriage it is important to put them back on the other side of the boundary. No one has the right to tell a man what to do with his wife’s purpose, likewise no one should be telling a woman what to do with her husbands’ purpose. Whoever the outside source is doing the talking is completely out of line. It is the responsibility of the two in the marriage to stop that foolishness in its tracks.
The sole person responsible for your purpose is you. Once you know what needs to be done for you to reach, and thrive in, fulfillment…you must move in that direction. It is important to respect your purpose and dreams. No one is saying neglect your spouse or kids, what I am saying is own how you need to get to your goal. Example, if you and your spouse both have associate degrees, and you both want to get your bachelors…but you have children you both may agree on who will pursue first. If you wholeheartedly agreed to allow your spouse to his degree first, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You made that choice of your own free will. You aren’t taking a back seat to your spouse because he’s “head of the house”, or because his purpose or calling is more important than yours. The two of you came together and created a plan, as a team, that will see both purposes and dreams come to fruition. When the union functions as a team it’s wonderful, but no one is relegated to a mere title.
You are more than your titles. Some titles are a result of life choices such as wife or mother, some come with birth, and some come through achievement…but YOU are more than a title. Your purpose and dreams predate your marriage. You are more than just someone’s wife, and you have an identity worth growing and protecting. Never let anyone relegate you to standing behind verses along side when it comes to your purpose. Some will call you difficult, accuse you of not being a submissive wife, and might even accuse you of being an unfit wife. However, protecting your purpose doesn’t make you negligent. Allowing your purpose to be sidelined can create bitterness that can evolve into resentment that would definitely hinder your marriage and create unrest in your home. Walk in the fullness of your purpose, and so apologetically.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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