(ThySistas.com) One of the issues with relationships is an inability to tell the truth in one’s own life. It’s a problem because it an become the root of issues in other relationships in the form of manipulation, jealousy, envy, and deceit. I’ll be the first to admit that though I my sistah folk, relationships with women can be rather difficult. It’s so much easier to talk about the mistreatment we receive from men right, but what do we do with the betrayal within our ranks. This can get down to the root of why on surface, we appear to be cheering for each other, however underneath it all there is plenty of dirt thrown on names. Sometimes I wonder if my primary threat within community comes from another “sistah”. Family, in every form it takes, is very important. The woman we call sistah create the village that is a part of our counsel, affirmation, and validation.
Regardless of what we are told, we all need validation and affirmation outside of self. It starts within, but it is required to within the spaces we trust…least we begin to question our own judgment regarding self. Accepting a woman as your sistah is no small thing. There should be standards, like-mindedness, and a true trust…a bond. Everyone can’t handle the weight of this special title.
When you call a woman your sistah you must understand she is a valuable part of your village. She is someone that can uplift you, encourage you, understand you when you aren’t too sure you understand yourself, and most importantly…she will call you on your nonsense. This has to be a must as no real sistah would let you misstep in silence…or destroy self in silence. This can be the hardest part of the relationship foe some as it can be difficult to hear someone you love tell you you’re out of line about a particular situation. If she’s your sistah you trust that she isn’t there to harm you, but she wants to see you be your best person…and you’d do the same for her. She’s not there to judge you, but there can be no growth if there is no one to hold you accountable to the values you yourself set in place. Though the accountability conversation can be difficult, this same one is the loudest person cheering you on…all is done in love. She is apart of your validation and affirmation.
The problem arises when those we call sistah by birth, marriage, or life isn’t the person standing with us. Though she appears to have our back…she has the knife to one’s back. Sistah relationships by blood can have their difficulties and many factors can contribute. It’s a blessing when that blood relationship is one of sisterhood and friendship melded into an unbreakable unconditional bond. Heaven help us if this person is one’s enemy. Then there is the sistah by marriage. Sometimes these start off great as the two women click right away. They might be rocky at first as the introduction of this women might make one feel as though they are losing a sibling…or if they are the only girl, it might feel as though this new woman is cramping the space. However, over time as these women begin to get to know each other they very well may find that they are a gift to one another. It is unfortunate and devastating in some cases when these women become enemies.
Sometimes you get to a place in life where the title of sistah must be taken off the table. No one is perfect; we all make mistakes. Relationships have their moments, and sisterhood is no different. However, I have come to a place where I don’t want to be called sistah by my enemy. Regardless of why if you aren’t pouring goodness into me as I’m doing such for you, please don’t call me sistah. Have the courage to stand by your convictions that I’m just not a person you want to have as a sistah. Please leave the jealousy, envy, backstabbing, lying, and throwing dirt on my name. No one needs that kind of toxic negative energy in their life. Where we give love, we deserve it in return…remove those titles of love and loyalty when they no longer fit, or are not earned. It might hurt at first, but you’d rather short term discomfort…over the devastation of a false sistah.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.