(ThySistas.com) If you’re anything like me, you’re probably the worst when it comes to change or wanting something to change. Certain situations call for you or certain aspects of your life to be thrown in the air and you have to adjust accordingly. However, these changes can be positive and help to grow you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally if you allow them to. The one thing that must be understood when going through these events is that your growth will ultimately take time and that is completely fine.
As Black women, we have been conditioned to think that we are to think, act, and be Superwoman. Yet, no one ever tells us that it is ok not to be, or that it takes time to build that resiliency and resolve. No one ever tells us to be reasonable about how long or short the time it takes to start and keep healthy habits that will fulfill us and make us more efficient for our families. We were given no playbook for many of the situations that arrive on our doorstep, but we are expected to rise above them and excel no matter the cost. The pressure that we feel is usually bone crushing. However, once we have had time to process what has happened to us and the metamorphosis that has occurred; we find that we are able to organize and compartmentalize our lives and surroundings.
Once the mental clutter is cleared and the dust in our minds have settled, we see the progress we have made. All of a sudden, your days go a bit smoother with the children because a routine was instituted that made cleaning the house fun. Perhaps you were able to finish a task that you had either been putting off or never started because you prepped it the night before. Maybe it would be those few hours to pray before the house is filled with the daily goings on to center and ground yourself. Though it may be incremental, it was still a step in the right direction to grow you and make you better. It can be a bit depressing to watch a slow return on investment during this time but that’s ok. Optimism is the best policy right now. Someone once told me to kind to myself in an extremely challenging time of my life. Being kind to yourself meaning acknowledge the good that you have in yourself instead of harping on defects that may be “all in your head”.
Those thoughts aren’t worth your growth time or energy. I have found that putting energy towards situations that you know will not change, that do not deserve your attention or above all, has nothing to do with you will drain your spirit quicker than you know. These drainers will begin to run you mad and ultimately diminish the gains you have made. This backtracking can lead to feeling down on yourself and throwing a pity party every time something goes wrong. At times, it may help to have a sister or friend that can help you to bring you back to reality. She may be able to help you count your wins and help you see just how much growth you have really done. She can remind you that it just took a little time, but you have begun to bloom.
Staff Writer; Jessieca Carr
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