(ThySistas.com) There are spaces we, as black women, can find ourselves whereby we feel we have arrived. We may feel we are finally accepted by our white counterparts…they see us, and respect us for who we are. I pray this is a sincere space if you find yourself feeling this way black woman. The problem that arises is if this space is one whereby you are truly celebrated do you appear to be isolated. This seems to be the question far too often, and if we are honest it leads to in fighting.
Everyone ends up wanting to be the favorite and fighting one another to no ends for the fake honor of appearing to be celebrated. Sistahs this is deeper than merely being a token, and the unfortunate part is it happens in such a subtle way that you might be totally unaware that you are isolated and unloved.
I took in a parade in Alexandria Louisiana as I was passing through the state headed to Florida. There was this really cool float, whereby the Krewe appeared to be all women. I was excited to see this as I had only heard about it not being from this state. The queen of the Krewe was this absolutely gorgeous brown skin sistah with locs. She was everything, and my heart leaped to see her. I felt like I saw myself and given
that I was surrounded by white people where I was I cheered for this sistah. As the float passed I was looking for other black women only to realize she was the only one. Honestly, this made me sad. This city is not void of black women…why was this sistah up there alone surrounded by white women? I took in the rest of my afternoon quite peacefully and some of the food was good. However, the image of that beautiful woman alone lingered on my mind.
Just as we surge in power when we are together, it is safe to believe we give up something if we are in a space alone. This might not seem like a big deal until something unfortunate is said and the truth surfaces itself while one of the white people we are around id intoxicated on privilege or liquor. We don’t know when that moment will occur, but its sad to say we can assume it will. The idea that we can all be one together is beautiful in theory, but often false in reality.
Far too often we give up authenticity to be in those spaces alone…we just get use to it. The mask we wear becomes permanent and the ideal of feminism seats higher than our actual womanhood. There will be a sacrifice when we allow ourselves to be in white spaces alone…we have to wonder if we are the quotas, or if we will one day be used as the reference for “but I’m not a racist”. In order to sleep at night, we must push that thought to the furthest part of our mind until an incident slaps us in the face with the truth we chose to bury. I’m happy I saw that black queen; she was the highlight of my experience her in Alexandria, LA. I just hope next time she doesn’t have to stand alone; I hope her kind is accepted more so next time. I pray she didn’t give up too much to wear that crown.
Staff Writer; Adonicka Michele