(ThySistas.com) Many women get upset when I refer to dating as a game, I guess they take the process very seriously. It’s no joking matter to them! But neither is basketball, football or any other game to the athletes involved. Similiar to sports, the dating game too has winners and losers. The losers could be looked at as those who leave the experience feeling abused, neglected, bitter, angry or misused. The winners on the other hand are those who accomplish just what they set out to attain or at the very least, had a marvelous time while it lasted.
As with any other goal in life, you should ALWAYS be going after the win. No one enrolls in college with hopes of flunking out, no one takes on their dream job with hopes of getting fired and we surely don’t purchase a house with hopes of it burning down. So why then, would we date with hopes of feeling pain? At all times you must be aware of the gameplan, the objective which is to take home the win.
So how exactly do we, as women, start playing to win in the realm of dating?
- See It As An Opportunity To Meet New People – I have seen the meme’s on social media stating that after 30 you shouldn’t be entertaining anyone you don’t see yourself being in a relationship with. Needless to say, I completely disagree! I say after 30 years of age you should be able to entertain anyone without being taken advantage of or misled. It’s as if we, as a people, can’t just relax and have a good time without desiring romantic feelings to evolve immediately. I’ve crossed paths with some amazing men who wouldn’t be apart of my life if I didn’t see the beauty in a friendship with them.
Everyone comes into your life for a reason, be very clear of that prior to dismissing people simply because romance isn’t in the forecast.
- Dont Get Too Vested – We all know that woman who meets a man tonight and deletes the numbers of every man she knows tomorrow. You know her! She’s the one who falls in love a movie and a meal later. Getting too invested during the dating phase leaves many women with a mess to cleanup after the man she is pursuing vanishes. I’ve known women who lost contact with childhood friends, neglected their family obligations and affairs as well as those who have ran off perfectly good suitors simply because she was so into the man she was dating. Be free! For all you know this might be the end of your dating phase, enjoy it! Make it a memorable experience. Realize that you don’t have to sit by the phone awaiting a call or text to make your day. Available women somehow always end up: available. Give the man room to miss you and wonder what you’re doing.
- Avoid Being Exclusive – I can’t understand for the life of me why so many single women feel the need to ‘date’ exclusively. What is the benefit of investing all of your energy into this one man in hopes that he’ll see you as the ‘one’ in the future? Dating is not the same as being in a committed relationship with clearly defined goals and objectives. Now, if you are sharing your goodies with your “date”, then perhaps you should be exclusive for safety purposes. We don’t need you sharing your goods with multiple men at once, now do we? However, if you are merely getting to know a person then allow room for other options to come into your path. Again everyone comes into our lives for a reason, rarely for a romantic encounter. Live a little! Every single woman should have a variety of things to do on her days off and I don’t mean resting.
- Keep Him Out of Your Bed – While many women see sex as a way to show their attraction, interest and love to a man; many men see it completely different. Many times we offer our treasure far too early in the process which causes more of a concern in men than feelings of love. This is truly a topic within itself but the average man desires a woman who he must invest attention, time and energy into. Although the average man is more than willing to bed you at any time, those who desire a committed relationship or marriage ses you sharing yourself with little requirements as a sign you do so often. As a barber, I’ve heard countless men state they stopped dealing with a woman they liked because she was “too easy”. I’ve heard guys say if she gave it up to me that easy and I wasn’t spending much time with her or taking her places, she’s definitely going to give it up to a man who throws a few dollars her way. Hmmmmm.
Staff Writer; Dina Tuff
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