When we turn on the news and see our children dying in the streets, and being unlawfully handled by law enforcement we are ready to cry out…but our kids are not prepared for the reality of the world we life in. The bottom line is we must teach our children. It is a labor of love, it is repetitive, on many days you will be exhausted, and it will require you to get YOU together because yes they hear you…but more importantly your kids are watching you.

Let me clear, this is not about abusing children, and that has to be stated as that is far too often where the conversation goes when the issue of structure is brought up. Some of us are so caught up in not wanting to be the previous generation we refuse to acknowledge that in some areas they did get it right…and in some areas we are failing. The inverse is also correct. Wanting children to learn to be independent thinkers, and make wise choices is important. However, that may have to start with you making selections and teaching them how to choose in a safe environment. I can’t allow my four year old to decide what he’s eating for dinner. I can give him options to choose from. He still needs parental oversight as if its left up to him he might try to eat pizza every day, and would be deficient in terms of nutrition. I will not allow him to decide to wear shorts and a t-shirt in 40 degree weather. This might sound like no brainers…but for some reason it is not. Children are taught respect for authority at home [or not] before dealing with the public. There is no way they should treat the parent as though that parent is their servant that they don’t have to heed. We don’t begin teaching these lessons at six an seven…it starts from day one.

Our children are more resilient than we realize. They are not made of glass. They can go to school and be efficient, then come home and have chores that they are consistently responsible for. We are then training a child that can one day take care of themselves while maintaining a job. Everything we do now is building blocks to help them become respectful efficient human beings. Teaching them what they need to know doesn’t mean life will be fair with them…it means they are not on the wrong side of the situation. Life has consequences, so should your home. These are all things that need to be taught. If you find that you need help please reach out to your family, community, church, and various professionals. Yet remember, you know your child, and sometimes you will have to go with your gut.

Children are a 24/7 responsibility. They will learn as you are hands on with them, when you care about their day, when you discipline in love, and when you show up for them. We are teaching them when they watch us make responsible decisions, take a care for our health, say no, get up and go to work, when they see us communicate effectively, and when they realize we don’t ask them to do anything we ourselves don’t walk out before them. They experience us apologizing to them if we get it wrong because we are not perfect. They will be able to recall us telling them about the reality of the world they live in…they might hate to hear us repeat ourselves, but the wisdom will come back to them when they face life challenges. If we want out children to have a better chance at life and living successfully we must roll our sleeves up and parent, and support each other in the effort to parent our children individually and as a community.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

Unfortunately, this isn’t something that happens simply of our own making. Getting married comes with another title, for the purpose of this conversation, we know to be wife. There are many responsibilities, expectations, and even benefits to being a wife. However, there can be an issue when others in one’s family see the title of wife as being one’s purpose. They claim to be supportive of you getting your “little” degree or having your “little” career. Yet, the treating of one’s purpose as little is cutting. To make the matter worse those that would do such don’t want their daughter[s], or the women in their family to be limited in this way. But being a wife should be your everything as though you didn’t find your purpose until you said, “I do”. This is infuriating, and it’s hurtful.

It’s important to note that sometimes social conditioning is the reason titles are placed before purpose. Sometimes those responsible from the hurt really think they are helping, or imparting wisdom, when they place your purpose behind your husband…verses along side him. They feel they are helping another family strive and survive by instructing their sons to “lead and provide”, as if the purpose of the wife can wait. Though the intent is not to do harm, damage is still done and it’s not acceptable. Unfortunately, this is a case of too many people in your marriage, and a wife feeling as though her purpose has the right to be navigated by someone other than her. A marriage can be supported by many in terms of positivity and positive wisdom; however, it should only include God, and the two people in the relationship. When others begin to cross the boundaries of your marriage it is important to put them back on the other side of the boundary. No one has the right to tell a man what to do with his wife’s purpose, likewise no one should be telling a woman what to do with her husbands’ purpose. Whoever the outside source is doing the talking is completely out of line. It is the responsibility of the two in the marriage to stop that foolishness in its tracks.

The sole person responsible for your purpose is you. Once you know what needs to be done for you to reach, and thrive in, fulfillment…you must move in that direction. It is important to respect your purpose and dreams. No one is saying neglect your spouse or kids, what I am saying is own how you need to get to your goal. Example, if you and your spouse both have associate degrees, and you both want to get your bachelors…but you have children you both may agree on who will pursue first. If you wholeheartedly agreed to allow your spouse to his degree first, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You made that choice of your own free will. You aren’t taking a back seat to your spouse because he’s “head of the house”, or because his purpose or calling is more important than yours. The two of you came together and created a plan, as a team, that will see both purposes and dreams come to fruition. When the union functions as a team it’s wonderful, but no one is relegated to a mere title.

You are more than your titles. Some titles are a result of life choices such as wife or mother, some come with birth, and some come through achievement…but YOU are more than a title. Your purpose and dreams predate your marriage. You are more than just someone’s wife, and you have an identity worth growing and protecting. Never let anyone relegate you to standing behind verses along side when it comes to your purpose. Some will call you difficult, accuse you of not being a submissive wife, and might even accuse you of being an unfit wife. However, protecting your purpose doesn’t make you negligent. Allowing your purpose to be sidelined can create bitterness that can evolve into resentment that would definitely hinder your marriage and create unrest in your home. Walk in the fullness of your purpose, and so apologetically.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

Public Schools: The Foundation of Education

Public schools are the cornerstone of the American education system and are funded by local, state, and federal tax dollars. They offer several advantages, including:

1. Accessibility: Public schools are available to all, regardless of socio-economic status, making them an inclusive choice for all Black families.
2. Diverse Student Body: Public schools often reflect the diversity of the surrounding community, allowing children to interact with peers from various backgrounds, which can be a valuable life experience.
3. Qualified Teachers: Public schools typically employ certified teachers who meet state education requirements, ensuring a minimum level of teaching quality.
4. Special Education Services: Public schools are mandated by law to provide special education services for children with disabilities, ensuring that every child receives an education tailored to their needs.

However, it’s essential to acknowledge that not all public schools are equal in terms of quality. Disparities in funding, resources, and teacher quality can exist between schools, leading to unequal educational opportunities. Research your local public schools thoroughly, attend parent-teacher meetings, and consider factors such as school performance, extracurricular activities, and available support services.

Charter Schools: A Unique Choice

Charter schools are publicly funded but operate independently, giving them more flexibility in curriculum and teaching methods. They offer several benefits, including:

1. Innovation: Charter schools often experiment with innovative teaching methods, which can be particularly appealing if your child has specific learning needs or interests.
2. Smaller Class Sizes: Many charter schools maintain smaller class sizes, allowing for more individualized attention and a closer-knit community.
3. Specialized Focus: Some charter schools have specialized focuses, such as STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) or the arts, catering to students with specific interests or talents.

However, charter schools are not without their challenges. They may have limited resources, and their autonomy can lead to variations in quality. Additionally, admission can be competitive, and not all charter schools may prioritize diversity and inclusivity.

Private Schools: A Premium Option

Private schools are independent institutions funded by tuition, donations, and endowments. They often come with a higher price tag but offer several advantages, including:

1. Smaller Class Sizes: Private schools typically maintain small class sizes, allowing for more personalized attention.
2. Diverse Educational Approaches: Private schools can offer a wide range of educational philosophies and approaches, allowing you to choose the one that aligns best with your child’s needs.
3. Resources and Facilities: Private schools often have excellent resources, including well-equipped libraries, labs, and extracurricular opportunities.
4. Strong Parental Involvement: Private schools often encourage active parental involvement in their child’s education.

However, the cost of private education can be a significant barrier for many families. Scholarships and financial aid may be available, but they can be highly competitive. Additionally, the lack of diversity in some private schools can be a concern for Black parents who value a diverse learning environment.

Homeschooling: A Personalized Approach

Homeschooling is a unique option that allows parents to take on the role of primary educators for their children. It offers several advantages:

1. Personalized Curriculum: Homeschooling allows you to tailor the curriculum to your child’s individual needs, interests, and learning styles.
2. Flexible Schedule: You have the flexibility to create a schedule that works best for your family, allowing for more extended vacations, field trips, and hands-on learning experiences.
3. Strong Family Bond: Homeschooling can strengthen the bond between you and your child, as you work closely together on their education.

However, homeschooling also comes with challenges. It requires a significant time commitment from parents, and finding appropriate resources and materials can be challenging. Additionally, some states have specific homeschooling regulations that you must adhere to.

Choosing the right school for your child is a decision that requires careful consideration and research. Each type of school – public, charter, private, or homeschooling – has its advantages and disadvantages, and the best choice will depend on your child’s individual needs, your family’s values, and your financial situation.

For Black parents, especially us mothers, it’s essential to prioritize schools that value diversity and inclusivity, as a diverse learning environment can enrich your child’s educational experience. Research local schools thoroughly, visit them if possible, and talk to other parents and students to gain insights into the school’s culture and values.

Ultimately, the best school for your child is one where they feel safe, supported, and inspired to learn. Regardless of the type of school you choose, remember that your involvement and advocacy as a parent are crucial to your child’s success. Stay engaged in your child’s education, build strong relationships with teachers and administrators, and advocate for the resources and support your child needs to thrive. With your guidance and support, your child can receive an excellent education and achieve their fullest potential.

Staff Writer; Mz. Whitsdom

This talented writer is also an accomplished author. One may purchase any of the following books; The Ausome Parent Journal: Your Journey as a Parent of Children with Autism, and Think About the Future!: Goal Setting Exploration Workbook for Students Paperback on Amazon.

The time came for that moment and it seemed to be going well. I breast and bottle-fed for the first month and I waited patiently for my milk to come in. I kept waiting…and waiting. Long stretches of attaching myself to a breast pump and praying to my female ancestors to help. I drank so much Mother’s Milk tea I could have made myself sick. Yet in spite of everything I tried, it never happened, and I was devastated. I felt like such a failure that I could not provide my son the best nutrition that I possibly could. It made me feel less than a mother and I did not know how to cope. It took my family member to calm me down, during a hysterically self-deprecating phone call, and let me know that it was ok that I could not breastfeed. She had to convince me that it was completely normal, formula feeding my son was just as good, and did not make me a bad mother.

At times, black mothers are called into question for various parenting practices. Breastfeeding is no different. There are those of us who swear by it, some of us who promote both breast and bottle, and there are those who are completely averse to the practice altogether. Over the years and another baby later, I can say breastfeeding definitely has its advantages and helps you build a bond with the baby. It also keeps a little cash in your pocket if you can produce a significant amount of milk and store it for the little one. Yet, I have always wondered why some black women ultimately give up or never attempt to breastfeed their children.

I have heard many different reasons as to why some women of color won’t breastfeed their children. Sometimes, a working mother cannot breastfeed because they must be a provider for the family which limits the time for the practice. Another reason would be the slight pain associated with breastfeeding that makes women not want to attempt it. However, there was one reason that caught my attention and that is the ties that our breastfeeding has to the enslavement of our ancestors.

This reason might seem far-fetched but it is just as plausible as any other. The trauma of our foremothers feeding children who were not theirs has lasted for generations. Those images endure in our history books, muscle memory, and seem to turn our noses and stomachs when we view them. Breastfeeding is then cast in a burdensome light. The practice becomes a chore for the help, less engaging, and an outdated activity for the stay-at-home mama. It is most definitely none of those things. Lately, there has been a trend to celebrate black women who breastfeed as the practice becomes hotly debated. Blogs dedicated to black motherhood are pushing back against the narrative and making headway in showing women of color breastfeeding their children is a badge of honor. It is our connection to our ancestral mothers and a way of creating a soul tie to our children that endures for a lifetime.

Staff Writer; Jessieca Carr

One may connect with this sister online over at Instagram; susiecarmichael1920 and Twitter; noladarling1920.

This life event is heightened to an alarming level when you have little ones. Children are the ones we worry about the most when sickness becomes the bane of our existence. Their immune systems always seem to soak up whatever the illness is like a sponge and projectile launch it into our homes stronger than what it was before. Parents have been faced with decisions that they’ve never had to make before as far as the safety of their children.

Keeping children clean is one of the most challenging jobs. However, …

to combat the disease, we have had to be diligent in cleaning not only our bodies but our living spaces. We have had to teach children as young as two to wash their hands and that they cannot touch anything that has not been washed down and sanitized. Not that it is a problem, just that basic life skills have had to be taught and learned much sooner. Children have also had to learn to wear a face mask before they learn to count or say their own names. A new normal of mothers in the grocery store fighting with their toddler to keep their mask on had emerged as this virus lingers. It has even tossed childcare routines into disarray and put a damper on the education of our children as models of what distance learning will look like begin to emerge. Parents and educators have had to make concessions that they never saw coming to better serve their little scholars as they pursue academic endeavors. Work schedules must be altered or completely removed to care for children. Parents and guardians with school aged children certainly felt the sting in the spring when schools were abruptly shut down and no one knew when they would be able to return. The situation created another problem as many parents now had to stay home and were responsible for helping their child with school work. At one point, this spring, it seemed like parents all over the country had a newfound respect for their child’s teacher because they saw first hand what their child struggled with, or how much of a struggle their child could be in a classroom when work is presented to them. While other parents saw just how bright their child was and how flawed the education system was in the delivery of instruction by frustrated teachers who were and are adjusting to reach every child they could.

In our homes, we are usually multigenerational caregivers. This simply means that our houses are filled with individuals that represent each stage of life from infancy to elderly. Many times, grandparents are the main caregiver when parents have to work or are absent from the homes. When the virus first emerged, we saw that the elderly were the most vulnerable because their immune systems are the most compromised especially if they have a pre-existing condition as is the case in most minority communities. African American communities were hit the hardest as we lead the country in that category and most of the time don’t have access to proper healthcare. With an illness such as COVID-19, it creates a certain difficulty that will always trouble Black and other minority communities if it continues and we don’t take the necessary precautions. With our elderly being at risk, we have had to limit our children’s contact with our elders to keep both sides safe which ultimately hurts because those two generations are so interconnected and important for the survival of our community.

While raising our children in this pandemic, we have had to limit who we allow in our home. Being from the south, Sunday dinner is a ritual that feeds your soul and recharges you as we come together to fellowship. COVID-19 has placed limits on the number of people we allow into our homes and makes you think twice about who you allow around your children. Parents are less likely now to allow extended family into the home to prevent themselves and their little one’s exposure. These limitations place a huge damper on the social interactions that children have that allow them to relax and be carefree.

Raising children in this pandemic has created circumstances that have taught us to be more vigilant in our pursuit of keeping them healthy, but it has also given us time to get to know our children. It has forced us to observe them and pay special attention to their actions as well as our own in rearing them. Cross-country lockdowns gave us unprecedented opportunities to bond with our children and get to know them outside of the basic question, “How was school today?” Who knows, maybe this pandemic will make our familial ties stronger than ever before.

Staff Writer; Jessieca Carr

One may connect with this sister online over at Instagram; susiecarmichael1920 and Twitter; noladarling1920.

The argument became parents wanted to send their kids back to school because they no longer wanted to be bothered with their children. Basically, they needed a babysitter. That can be seen as rather insulting to the many parents that are actively involved in the education of their children, and battle with the idea of sending them back to school during a pandemic.

Every parent is not trying to pawn off their child on teachers, many parent work…and are being forced back to work as they try to figure out how to best accommodate their child’s academic development and keep them safe. Patience and working together is going to be a necessity if we are to come together as a community to do what’s best for our educators and children. As we educators and administrators will need an immense about of patience from parents…parents will need the same. Many parents are not educators.

During the school year they reinforce the work their student gets from school, and many of them can supplement during timed when school is out. With being said lesson plans are appreciated, but without proper execution plans are ineffective. Many parents are in the position of having to try to teach their children as many of them are not zoomed into the classroom; they will be assigned work and the parent will be responsible for assisting them with getting said assignments completed.

There are many parents concerned about the education of their children. They may not be the loudest voice you hear because their head is down, and they are busy trying to work with their kids, the school, and home while managing their jobs. Yes, there are parents that see school as an opportunity to get away from their children, but before you label them the majority remember there are teachers that mistreat children and administrators that don’t care.

There are always questionable persons in every group. Remember we are all in this together. This is a time when there is no such thing as norms anymore. Tensions tend to run high as patience appear to be a lost artform, however we do have experience in coming together, and in persevering. Parents, teachers and administrators will have to find a way to exist in a harmonious balance for the sake of our children. This can’t be done if parents are simply dismissed as complaining.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

1. In the effort to want or be super mom we tend to be hard oneself. Whereas you may have been very confident in your decision making now you may find yourself second guessing everything. Know that it’s okay, your child has the best mom in you. None of us are perfect, and we have to make an effort to be gentle with self. Celebrate all the goodness, and take the not so good as a learning moment. We are constantly learning their children from the moment they are born throughout their life. Trust your instincts, and the love you have for your children. They love you, and know they are loved.

2. You may not have time for everyone. If you are the person everyone runs to with their problem you might have to put some of that on hold. Parenting a child takes a lot of energy, meditation, and prayer. Sometimes when we are done engaging with our children we don’t have much energy left. When they are babies what they eat and immediate safety is at the forefront on our mind. We’re trying to keep them alive and healthy which will continue throughout their live but change as their needs change. As they get older, they come to us with situations that are teachable moments, and rearing them means more teaching moments. This doesn’t mean you don’t love family, and friends. However, you may find that you don’t have the mental space nor patience to repeat given advice and work through someone’s issues as you did before kids.

3. The world around you seems more dangerous than ever before. When we turn on the news and see the level of hatred and violence it can cause anxiety when we think of our children. Racism and police brutality is bad enough I’m regards to ourselves, but thinking of that in terms of ones children can be frightening. You may find yourself more involved with community activism, school matters, and local/state/national voting issues like never before. You are no longer standing up for yourself you are trying to secure a safe future for your children.

4. Violence towards children causes a deeper level of reflection. Everyone can agree harming children is evil. When we see kids beaten are killed our heart hurts for them, and their family. Now, as a parent, when you see a mother wailing over the loss of her child your soul aches, and you have the urge to clutch your children to you. Her pain is a reality too close to home. You begin to think about ways to help your kid avoid what you are seeing. You know nothing is fail proof but you will do all you can to have your kids come one safely every day.

There are countless ways by which your life changes with children. Maybe you don’t stay up as late at night, or the opposite. You kind that it’s not as easy to take care of self, but it has to get done. Despite the challenges of motherhood you wouldn’t trade your kids for anything. As you reach them you learn from them. They become one of your greatest inspirations and sources of unconditional love. That’s a feeling nothing can prepare you for…it’s simply amazing.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

It is not unlikely for mothers to feel overwhelmed and even alone as they are raising their kids. Once the toddler stage is hit we find out patience being tested in ways we never imagined. If not careful we
find ourselves at wits end in tears and breaking down as we want to get away just to find piece of mind the problem is motherhood is often romanticized. Too many women are not looking at the reality of motherhood where the behavior and needs of a child is not perfect. Some felt they could do it one their own, some are choosing to do it on their own by alienating the father, and others have no choice as the father has left. Though the situations are very different the outcome of being overwhelmed is the same.

Having children doesn’t bring order to a life lacking such; it will usher is extreme chaos that tend to make us re-think our own motherhood. Because motherhood is not an easy, though fulfilling, task its important to think about what you are doing before you engage in such. Yes, men have a part to play in he responsibility of parenting. In that its important to acknowledge some others feel overwhelmed and they do leave the children with the dad. There are fathers out there raising children alone and they are strapped with the same responsibilities as a mom that is single parent. However, the focus of this is mothers.

Its time we consider our situation before engaging in irresponsible sexual activity leading to motherhood. In this day and time, we don’t have to get pregnant by accident if we aren’t ready. Furthermore, we ought not have babies just to fill a void of needing someone to love us as we will have to pour so much into them before they can reciprocate such. Lastly, it’s time we address who we are having babies with. If you know the brother doesn’t have a plan for his life, and he’s in and out of jail why procreate? There is a high chance he will not be there to help you with the baby due to incarceration.

This will leave you feeling alone and the child may begin to feel more like burden than a blessing. No child asks to be here so its up to us to be responsible adults in our decision making regarding children. Motherhood will always be work but preparing as much as possible based on what motherhood really is, instead of romanticizing it, can help alleviate the pressure. Remember when we become parents its out job to train up our children, pour goodness into them, and invest in them. That’s a career.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

Little girls are always in a rush to be teenagers, or adult women. However, there is a process to life and expediting this for a young child is not wise. Healthy girls that become overly obsessed with their weave, false eyelashes, designer bags, halter tops and cut offs, extravagant designer prices, long false nails and detailed makeup that are barely tweens are being allowed to stand on par with their mothers, and it sends a message that what’s on them is more valuable that what’s in them.

When this occurs moms often face the defiance of their daughters at a younger age. She feels she is woman enough to put her mother in line, and that her mom is her friend. This picture sets young girls up to feel it’s okay to behave as an adult woman and this can extend to their interactions with boys if not careful. Individuality, modesty, respect for where one is in life, and the ability to respect authority is on the table when young girls are not expected to be young girls.

Growing up many of us were not allowed to entertain adult conversations, some of us couldn’t wear makeup until 15-16yr old, disrespecting adults was never allowed, and we actually did things that kids do. We were expected to be children, until it was time to be teenagers, and teenagers until it was time to be adults. We earned the right to sit at the adult table for the holidays, and it was really a big deal. This is missing for our kids. Granted we can lay some of it at the feet of social media and technology, but we must make the innocence of our children our priority. Life is a building block…forcing our young girls to look, and behave as adults without laying a proper foundation for their dignity, and self-respect is dangerous.

Young girls should be able to wear whatever they want and be unharmed. Grown women should be able to wear whatever they want and be unharmed. Both statements are true, and in an ideal world it would be reality, but unfortunately our society doesn’t function in that way. We can teach our daughters to be beautiful, comfortable and trendy while still dressing in a manner whereby they are appropriately covered for their age.

No, clothes won’t stop you from being hurt if a monster is lurking, but it would help preserve the child’s dignity. There is a whole generation of young girls that need to slow down, and simply be kids. They are not our equals, and we should not put them in the position to fail in that area. We must protect our daughters, and part of that is making sure they learn the lessons we need to teach them at every level of development. Too grown too young doesn’t serve the best interest of the daughters of our community.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

Staff Writer; Celeste Writer

Official website; http://celestewriter.com/