Furthermore, one can argue there is more to facilitating marriage than just the ceremony and signing the documents. Getting ordained as a minister can be a step in the direction of starting a church, building a congregation and having people that look to you for spiritual council and leadership. While this is happening there are conversations being has now about the order of our services, how the Word is being taught, what the church’s responsibilities are withing community…and if the church is still a valid institution. It’s hard to have these conversations when someone can just hop online and decide to be ordained without training. Its understand able that this is liberating to some, but it can be dangerous for the masses as ordination is a serious matter.

Marriage is something  that is being re-defined, but the nature of it for many have not changed. It is still seen as a covenant steeped in commitment,  love, and longsuffering. Many are still marrying and fighting for those marriages daily. Marriage counselors in the faith and within the mental health industry are needed to help navigate the nuances and difficulties of marriage for so many. The church use to be a place people would go when they needed guidance for their marriage when hardships arise, and before the marriage. Usually the pastor that does the marriage counseling might be the pastor presiding over the nuptials. This is not something random…depending on the faiths of the couple they would want their minister to understand the spiritual ramifications of marriage. This is difficult when the person presiding does not have that background. They might be able to offer logical advice but can it be considered sound spiritually. This is not to say it can’t happen…but one can argue more should be involved than just an online piece of paper.

Once could ask what of the Justice of the Peace. Well, that is a judge presiding over the legal aspects of a marriage. There is no counselling, and no expectation of such…there is no spiritual culture involved. Going to the Justice of the Peace is purely legal. The judge is certified and their area to perform the ceremony. The credentials and expectation check out. Whereas this might not be the case if someone is just performing marriages with no knowledge base. The responsibilities of a judge are understood from the beginning.

One can argue we need to have more care given in church for those who are called to ministry. It can be said that too many are in positions they are not called for, and there are two many on the pew that should be ministering to the people. The nepotism and clique behavior in church ministry…the politics of it is something that has to be looked at and addressed honestly. It is something that the congregation is going to have to take a stance about. Not only does it lead to poor leadership, but it can open the door for what we are seeing in the sense that some feel its better to just get an online ordination verse having to be taught or go through any process. When the call to ministry becomes unfair…the call itself can be misused.

Becoming an ordained minister is about more than performing marriages. The responsibilities are deep and necessary within a congregation. There has to be a change within the church as the culture of it is at risk. The faith is riddled with problematic issues that could be addressed if God and the people were the focus. That is also a part of the responsibilities of ministry…do you care for the people of God. Are you ministering to the youth, caring for the elderly, caring for the ill, caring for the widows…being a beacon of light for our community? All of this is more than just a marriage ceremony, but it call comes with the title of ordained minister.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

“When terrible things happen to us, we must choose how to move forward in the aftermath; but it’s not always clear which paths are the “right” ones, because morality is almost always gray. Countless people of color have had and continue to have to find a way to push forward in the wake of blatant and consistent denial of our right to exist in peace and equality.”

Spiritual culture in the book was not overused, nor out of place. It didn’t overshadow the story, though it is deeply involved in the plot it is woven in as a part of a strong culture. Black family, and society is at the very heart of this book. How relationships respond to betrayal, disrespect, lies, deceit, and the stealing of one’s rights. The reader is immediately drawn to the main characters, and it is easy to identify with them. Many of us will see our family members through the characters and relate to the different challenges and pain they encounter. You will find yourself deeply hating some, cheering for others, and having to give grace in spaced you don’t want to.

“The blessing was an easy ritual, only requiring blessed water and a sincere prayer to the ancestors under the light of the moon.”

The author masterfully crafted this story and how the systemic racism of white people is a constant battle and threat to black culture and community. In this the story felt very personal to me as this battle in New Orleans continues even to this day. We are constantly in a fight for our culture and city, and in that fight far too many times our families are deeply damaged. This is woven through the narrative well.

“A person’s worth is not tied to their ability to conceive, nor are they obliged to pop out children to serve the patriarchy. Lenora Savant is undeniably on of the Black people Harriet Tubman would’ve shot.”

This book was an emotional ride that will leave the reader ready for book two, without making them feel too much was unresolved. We got enough closure to be satisfied. I laughed, cried, was angry, and felt the need to cuss at times right along with the character. I highly recommend this story for book clubs, community conversations through narrative, and purely for enjoyment. I can’t wait to read the sequel.

“I smile despite myself, but it fades fast. “I still can’t believe all this mess started thirty years ago because a white lady couldn’t deal with someone telling her no.”

“Blood Debts” can be found at your local bookstore, Amazon, and anywhere books are sold.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

“Even a carpetbagger can’t sneer at any undertaking we women might fashion for ourselves. Vigorous as we are, quick to whistle when drowning but not to worry: we’re xerophytic and not easily lost as a yacht, its tiny flags flailing, the see color of zirconium, or some other form of divination.”

Every concern we face as Black women that stem from our ability to survive, the questioning of our worth, the relationship to each other and our children, wo we are, and what we deserve are all addressed here. The poet carefully addresses these spaces using history, and words that make us pause think and digest. This is not a book that is fully understood in one read. It comes to you more every time you engage in the text. The reader will keep coming back because the text literally calls to you.

“The body isn’t an allegory­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­—history doesn’t fail, we fail history while raptors’ faces hover in the storm”

The form of the verses is free and continual like moving waters. There isn’t the traditional punctuation and stops that come with periods…the format looks like an example of what we should be. Every poem is not formatted the same. There should be authenticity and bold individuality among us as there is in the presentation of the collection.

“Till the old junk man Death plants your feet in the cool swamp mud shake your brown feet, honey. Stay awake all night with loving or be a woman in the doorway.”

Lynne Thompson held our hand as she navigated us through our origins and pains of what it means to be a Black woman especially here in America. There are reminders that we must live as much as we work, and my favorite part…that we deserve love and to be loved on through our bodies at every age our body will see. This body of work is important to the strength and healing of Black women specifically, and then all who encounter it. This is a great book for sister circles, and for women to share with the different generations of women within their family. This is a poetry book that I want to read with my mother and sisters. It is one I highly recommend as it is an answer to the needs of our heart, and affirmation desires of our soul.

“Allow yourself everything, especially those things you have stored on a shelf, saying that’s not for me or I’m not able.”

“Blue On A Blue Palette” can be found at your local bookstore, Amazon, and anywhere books are sold.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

“Only those who remain free in spirit will find their way out of this maze. But we are children of the stars, and we ought to amaze.”

There is something for every reader in this book. Ben Okri weaves words across time spaces and cultures that allow us to feel the beauty and depth of his words. There is love, growth, self-awareness, pain, loss and all of it is crafted in a manner that causes the reader to ask questions. Though there in-depth complexity in the poetry it is not so much so that it would discourage a reader.

“Belief should rest on what we know. What we know rests on what we sow. Truth will endure all tests.”

This is a book that would be great for poetry circles, and poetry introductions. There is literally something for every reader at every reading level. I found myself comforted by the piece Ben Okri dedicated to his father…even though it was written from a son to father perspective I found it touching when thinking about the loss of my own father. This is a book you will want to re-read at different times as life happens. It reminds the reader of how amazing they are, and yet how much more can be accomplished. It has reminders of how important love is as we move through this thing called life. You will experience every emotion when you need it. “Wild” is a gift that will continue to give. Ben Okri has given us several poetry books that were special, but this one is in a league of its own. Youth reading groups would benefit from being exposed to this poetry book. It can help them work through their different feelings and challenges, allowing them to feel seen through the text. This is one of the great aspects of reading. I highly recommend this book to everyone.

“We have to create order out of the chao we find. And the order of the ancients is part of that chaos too. We can’t find a clear way through it. What was clear and straight to them is not so clear and straight to us.”

“Poets pray to the goddess of surprise: love is seduced by change, itself unchanging. Time, serene, remains indifferent to our iron will, our willed philosophies.”

“Wild” can be found at your local bookstore, Amazon, and anywhere books are sold.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

“Often when I hear “How are you?” I am overcome with blind rage. My throat gets tight, my heart races, I feel hot behind my eyes, and my jaw clenches with the hopes of muzzling a response that will require an apology once this fit of anger passes.”

From appearance one would never know that Kerry Washington has struggled through her teenage years while fighting to perfect perfectionism. We would never think she encountered so many of the same issues we face with communication and openness within her own family. The internal issue of the question, “how are you?” is something so many of us encounter but may have never thought to express openly. As she battles to find balance, acceptance, and honesty within self she allows the reader to safely engage with themselves regarding the same issues. Sometimes you don’t understand how much or how quickly you are sinking until someone shows you through their battle to reach the surface.

“How are you? Who are you? What do you want? How do you feel? I have struggled with these questions for a long time because these questions have been unimaginably difficult for me to answer. “

Kerry Washington wrote a book that is laidback, down to earth, and engaging. Though it is about her life, she makes you want to keep reading. You want to know more about her, you want to know how she resolves her conflicts, more importantly you will find yourself cheering for her to be okay.

“People-pleasing and perfectionism were still signature parts of my personality – the shapeshifting I’d learned as a child had created in me a desire to get it “right” instead of digging for the unknown.”

This book is important especially for Black woman. She centers herself…her womanhood, and her Blackness throughout the journey and it is why this book feels so relatable as a Black woman. It will allow us to come together in our sister circles and discuss the journey we are on…and how we are relating to the “water” we find ourselves wading in. It gives us a way to look at self, and even our name, and decide what parts of us are open to others…and what part of us is reserve solely for self. This is necessary to balance self against ever space by which we reside.

I first fell in love with Kerry Washington as an actress when she played the feisty yet brutally honest sister in “Save The Last Dance”. I have been a fan of her career ever sense, however I feel in reading her book I was allowed to be introduced to the woman, and I am cheering for her. There is something for everyone in this book, but it is definitely a gem for Black women.

“Thicker Than Water” can be found at your local bookstore, on Amazon, and anywhere books are sold.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

History can be difficult to encounter, however it is necessary. It tends to give us the story of why and how things got to be as they are. History can remind us we’re not alone, but apart of a long chronicle of a situation. When we see the social ills of the day its important to know history, if we chose to embrace it, told us there was a problem and more importantly that it may be an uphill battle to reach a solution or peace. I was reminded of this as I read “Mob Rule in New Orleans by Ida B Wells-Barnett.

Being a Native New Orleanian I admit this book was a difficult read. There is no sugar coating the hatred, violence, and terror. The sheer inhumanity is blatant to the reader. Though I remember hearing stories about a time that mob rule took over the streets of New Orleans, this book tells the stories and gives a name to victims. The horror came to life on the page. These were human beings going about their life, some were driving back into town, some headed to work, others visiting from out of town, but they were all spotted, hunted, and attacked for no other reason than they were Black.

One may ask what the benefit is of reading this book where there is horror on every page. This book is a great resource for further understanding the issue of policing in urban areas in terms of the longevity  of the matter. It is important that we don’t shun history because it makes us angry or uncomfortable. Books like “Mob Rule In New Orleans” are also a reference for the mentality of certain communities when talking about law enforcement. There are many people in New Orleans that grew up with a distrust of the police, with the exception maybe of those they know personally, and that sentiment didn’t appear out of thin air. Regardless of what some people outside of Black communities may think, this sentiment wasn’t formed because we are more violent or criminal than other groups. Here we have a book that documents violence against any black person that began, and was allowed to turn into a mob, under the watch of the police.

The work of Ida B, Wells-Barnett is priceless, and it provides the receipts that our people were indeed tortured in this country. Her work is passionate yet based on documented information. To ignore the numbers and accounts she presents is to insist on denying the inhuman torture our people have suffered.  As I read “Mob Rule in New Orleans”, my mind reflected on the Algiers Point Massacre that took place in the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Is was a situation whereby Black people were hunted by a group of white people and shot at for sport. This was 2005, but based on this book…it was nothing new. In order to have the necessary conversations about how to have better policing presence in urban cities like New Orleans, and to address the concerns of the people, one has to understand the depth of the situation. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is wanting to better understand the problem, in order to assist with a solution.

“Mob Rule In New Orleans” by Ida B. Wells-Barnett can be found at your local bookstore, Amazon, and anywhere books are sold.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

“When you start to rewrite the story of not mattering, you start to find a new center. You remove yourself from other people’s mirrors and begin speaking more fully from your own experience, your own knowing place.”

The reader is confronted with how we should navigated self-love as Michelle Obama gives us a window into her journey. She is unapologetic, yet accountable and gives the reader permission to do the same. She is honest about the work involved in coming to terms with self, and doesn’t sugar coat the uncomfortable spaces one can expect to encounter. With that in mind, there is a constant theme, over various topics, of charting one’s own path…and allowing others to do the same. One can gain quite a bit about a healthy reciprocity in relationships and life that is rooted in fairness.

“It’s also helpful to acknowledge what makes this work so difficult. We are tasked with trying to write our own script over layers and layers of already written ones.”

One of the things I love about Michelle Obama is her transparent commitment to fairness. In this book that theme is on repeat. There is a fairness we our the world and out community that is rooted in principle and integrity. However, there is a fairness we owe self…which is also a reflection of said principle. When she introduces the reader to her mother, and her challenges as a parent we really see great examples of working through parental anxiety, giving oneself grace, and having important people in life that ground us…reminding us of the grace we deserve.

“If you choose to try to make a life with another person, you will live by that choice. You’ll find yourself having to choose again and again to remain rather than run.”

There was some stir on social media that pointed at Michelle Obama giving an image of marriage and relationships as something that must be tolerated. Some felt marriage isn’t worth having to “tolerate” someone. It was as if several people felt her position further explained why some just don’t want to deal with marriage.  I admit I was on edge as I approached Chapter 6, “Partnering Well”. We live in a time whereby it seems we want the dream, yet we chose to trash it as soon as it shows itself to be more than just a fantasy. Michelle Obama was real about marriage, and she doesn’t want her marriage to be seen as a glamorous expectation. She went to great lengths not only to humanize her husband, but herself. She shows how were expectations of Hawaii during her first visit were torn down, but something stronger was left standing. Marriage is work, and it is a constant choice. No one is perfect, and there will be days you may not like your partner much…and they may feel the same. However, in love there is growth. She shared a reality of what commitment looks like, while encouraging the reader that they can have it all…it just may come in seasons. Marriage isn’t the snapshots we see on social media, and its more than just the wedding. Chapter 6 is one of my favorite parts of the book, because it encouraged me as a wife. I will revisit it often. I highly recommend a reader to embrace it with an open mind, because life can throw some serious challenges at us and if we are in a relationship, we need it to be more than glamour.

“The notion of going high shouldn’t raise any questions about whether we are obligated to fight for more fairness, decency, and justice in this world; rather, it’s about how we fight, how we go about trying to solve the problems we encounter, and how we maintain ourselves long enough to be effective rather than burn out.”

This book was an amazing read. I walked away learning more about how I would like to shape life for myself. I appreciate Michelle Obama breaking down: “When they go low, we go high”. I never saw it as a passive position, though in our current climate I understand how others could perceive such. This is a great book for everyone to read, and I think it has such a special meaning for Black Woman as we endure so much in many areas of our life. As we continue to press toward our purpose as women, partners, mothers, and active members of our community “The Light We Carry” is another light we can look to help us chart our path as individuals and as a collective.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

• A young black male is severely beaten by an officer at a school
• A young black female is dressed way older than she actually is
• A young black male is using profanity while their family laughs
• A young black female is fighting with another female in a school hallway

Most of these videos are videos that my students are watching.  We follow each other on Twitter, and I get access to these disturbing images.  I do not spend my life on social media, but, if I did and watched these videos, I would definitely have a very skewed perspective about the future generations of African-American boys and girls.  That would be truly scary.  There is a fervent need for video and literature that shows young black males and females that they have the power to be successful and awesome.  When they get to my age, they are already close to the adult mentality of having their values and beliefs set.  They need something at a younger age to help them understand their worth and their power.

Mother and Feminine Advocate Christina Louise saw a need.  Christina Louise filled the need.  Her books Pretty Brown Girl and Black Boy Joy are children’s books dedicated to reaffirming that our youth have an untapped power.  In Pretty Brown Girl,  Louise opens the book immediately declaring that purpose exists:

Pretty brown girl…

You are created on purpose

With a purpose to change the world.

Throughout the book,  she puts pictures of beautiful brown-skinned girls in different outfits and environments: tomboyish and outside to elegant in a ballroom.  Each page is a reminder that being a dark shade is not only a privilege, but a sign of wealth.

Most authors direct their writings just to females because it has been proven that females read more than males.  Christina Louise refuses to leave young boys out. In her book, Black Boy Joy, illustrations show boys of color as men of business and men of leisure.  She also confronts a damaging stereotype that society has attempted to brand the black male:

Black Boy Joy…

You are not the villain society

has stereotyped you to be.

You are greatness!

This type of encouragement is needed in a time when young black boys see success in the form of athletics, music, or illegal activity.

Sometimes, our words are not enough.  They will go through one ear and out of another ear.  It may take different outlets in order to reaffirm positivity in the lives of our future brown babies.

We as a race have worked hard to rewrite the Black American story from just being about slavery and bondage. Success is more consistent, but there are visible and invisible forces attempting to keep us in the same place.  They aspire for us to remain comfortable.  Christina Louise’ books attempt to give encouragement and empowerment back to our young people so that they may change our future world.  Thank you, Christina Louise, for taking wisdom and measure to remind us and our future that they have the ability to do just about anything. Her books, Pretty Brown Girl and Black Boy Joy, are declarations of positivity toward children of color.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.

Help, my hair is thinning/ falling out

Can there be anything worse than a bad hair day? Well, imagine your hair thinning and even falling out. There are two main reasons for women to think of hair loss despite a young age, and it’s either medication or illness. But what happened if you’re not struggling with any of these? Thankfully, there are a lot of helpful courses of action to tackle hair loss or hair thinning problems. As most women use a combination of products to get ready every day, it’s possible that some of these products may be harmful to your hair. Your lifestyle can also have a severe effect on your hair health, from the vitamins you consume to how hydrated you keep during the day.

Sorry? I can’t hear you

If you thought that hearing loss could only touch seniors, then you may need to think again. If you’re prone to adrenalin sports or heavy partying, it’s very probably that your habits might damage your inner ear or your eardrum. In other words, you may find yourself adjusting to hearing aids from a very young age. While you can’t train your hearing back, hearing aids can be very discreet and give you your life back in no time. There’s no shame, and you don’t need to tell anyone if you don’t want to; they won’t notice!

Ouch, my knee hurts

Knee pain is never fun, but it can feel a lot worse than it is if you need to be active all day to keep on top of your work and social life. It can be devastating too, as for a lot of women, knee pain is something that only happens to old people. Well, here you go: Knee pain happens to everyone and especially young and fit people. From harmful fitness moves to wearing high heels, there are plenty of bad lifestyle choices that can cause handicapping knee pain in a young body.

Your hormones are all over the place

Irregular periods, mood swings, loss of appetite, do these sound like typical menopause complaints? So, you can imagine that a woman in her 20s or 30s should be worried if she experienced any of these! In fact, hormonal imbalance is at the core of these issues. But the production of hormones is not just reacting to your age. It also reacts to your diet, level of stress, use of birth control pills and even to environmental chemicals. Clearing out your life from the damaging factors can help you to regain stability.

Your body is a finely tuned machine that can go out of sync very easily. Your lifestyle choices are often the reason behind some of your complaints. The bottom line is: Look after yourself and your body will look after you.

Staff Writer; Lisa Love

1. Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color by Iyanla Vanzant

Iyanla Vanzant wrote a classic. No matter what faith or religion you belong to, this book will uplift, motivate, and inspire. This one is universal. This is the perfect gift for anyone, from a pre-teenager to a grandparent. Each day includes a quote that you won’t want to forget and an affirmation that will help you get your life together.

2. Sistah Vegan edited by A. Breeze Harper

Reading this book is like eavesdropping on a conversation between best friends. Here, Black women explore being Black and health conscious. I know, I know. The world doesn’t think that exists. And yet, in this book, our sisters talk about what it’s like to be in a Black family, on a Black date, or in a Black marriage while vegan. This is motivation for anyone—whether you are vegan or simply trying to become a healthier woman.

3. Surviving Triple-Negative Breast Cancer: Hope, Treatment, Recovery by Patricia Prijatel

Unfortunately, Black women are disproportionately affected by breast cancer. This book provides a lot of research-based information on triple-negative breast cancer, as well as how women can seek treatment. You’ll want this book whether your cancer is triple-negative or not. And if you don’t have cancer, you’ll want to pick Patricia Prijatel’s text up for a woman that does.

4. I Will Survive: The African-American Guide to Healing from Sexual Assault and Abuse by Lori S. Robinson

In 2012, a study reported that 50 percent of Black women were sexually assaulted, raped, or molested by Black men by the time they reached age 18. We must address the fact that sexual violence affects Black girls and women at disproportionately high numbers. Thus, Lori S. Robinson’s comprehensive guide to healing from sexual assault and abuse is a necessary resource for any Black woman who has been affected.

5. Best Black Women’s Erotica 2 edited by Samiyah Bashir

Whether you hide this book under your mattress, or display it proudly on your coffee table, Samiyah Bashir’s compilation is an exciting exploration of Black woman’s sexuality. If you are a fan who enjoys the art of well-written erotica, buy the first book as well. I highly recommend the second anthology simply because “Lujon 1” by Kimberly White is it’s a great short story.

What are you reading? We want to hear from you! Comment below!

Staff Writer; Amber Ogden

One may also view more of her work over at; AmberOgden.com.

Also connect via Instagram; 1amberogden and Twitter; MsAmberOgden.