(ThySistas.com) We all need sisters to talk to that can help us understand life a bit better. Having that person in your corner that is truly willing to listen to you wade through the issues of any given situation is a blessing. Far too many times we pick up the phone to call that trusted friend to spill the contents of our heart or mind only to find they are preoccupied during the conversation. So, when you have that faithful ear you are truly thankful. The question is: did you call to spill, which can lead to dumping, or do you truly want advice?
Advice is not something that should be taken for granted. When you ask for it please understand it is a slap in the face to disregard it. Too many of us have that particular friend that seems to find herself in the same jam every few months…or weeks. It’s unfortunate because
The problem is she has asked several times before, and you now sound like a broken record. You actually contemplate if you want to repeat yourself again, or if you are upset that you are having to hear what is now foolishness to you yet again. However, you don’t want to feel like the evil friend so you give that advice yet again…knowing that is a large change she won’t use what you’ve given her.
If you are the repeat offender friend understand you put your real friends in a serious bind. If you truly want advice try using it. When you go to your friend in distress you must understand she is on that emotional rollercoaster with you. If you need to vent let her know, and she can handle the situation accordingly. However, when you ask for advice one would like to think it is because you trust the judgement of the individual you are speaking with.
It is emotionally draining to be on the receiving end of constant negative energy, and when solutions are given they are disregarded. In that space, your dear friend may begin to feel used, and you will find them less engaged when you call. They will begin to see advising you as a waste of time, and precious energy. If you find that the advice didn’t work speak on it, at least they will know you are listening.
Using those that care for you as a dumping ground is never a good idea. When you are the friend that can’t go a single week without a major issue, but won’t listen to reason, you begin to drain those around you. When you ask for advice don’t allow the request to be cliché. Your friend will appreciate it if you are just honest with them about what you need. Just understand they may not be able to handle a major vent session every week, or several times a week. So please utilize the advice given, and actually seek solutions to the challenges you face. The truth is those that care about you really do want to see you happy.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr