(ThySistas.com) Happiness must be a state of being that you choose. No one can determine your feelings on a matter but you. Everyday women surrender the power of their emotions to others, and circumstances. Society teaches us when something good happens we are free to be happy, and when something negative happens our happiness is destroyed. This logic is a form of subjugation. It denies you the right to determine what you will be for yourself.
Granted, this also attacks the victim mentality. If you can have control over what you will allow in, and out of your space, you don’t have to accept victimization. This doesn’t diminish the harm, hurt
This is very important when dealing with relationships. It is quite natural to feel that love of your life is going to make you whole, and usher in a blissful happiness into your life. It’s always acknowledged that mister right isn’t perfect, and every relationship has its challenges but overall, he makes you happy. Your girlfriends have been with you through your sadness, loneliness, and self-doubt. They have loved you though your morbid no one is going to love me phases. They have tried to keep you encouraged to the point of sharing less about what’s going on with them because they don’t want you to be uncomfortable. True, you will show up to events for your friends, and their kids, but all you can see are the couples…you feel ostracized to the point you just want to go disappear.
However, finally Mr. Right has arrived, and the rays of sunshine has flooded into your life. All of a sudden you are feeling your worth, and life has meaning because he is in it. Sister, this is dangerous. You must be whole, and happy because it is what you choose. If you aren’t careful your happiness, and joy will be attached to his name. Even if the relationship goes all the way to the alter your emotional state is dependent on his presence. This can cause insecurities to surface if does not act, or speak in the manner you feel is necessary. If the relationship ends, you see yourself as a failure, beaten and the storm clouds in your life resurface. In this sense, you are on a merry-go-round, and that is not good for your emotional nor physical health.
Happiness is a choice you should make for yourself. Yes, losing a significant other will hurt but you have the power to choose happiness and peace for your life no matter what challenges arise. When happiness is your choice you will be good to yourself, and the friends that love you. They won’t have to fear sharing their life with you because you are truly happy for them verses comparing their happiness to your pain.
You may not be able to change, nor control, everything that happens around you. It’s understood you can’t make another person’s decisions for them. However, you can choose happiness and peace for yourself. Your happiness is your own it’s not something his presence should create for you. When you choose happiness and peace as a way of life…it remains regardless of who stays, or go.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr