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When Should You Avoid Sharing Your Feelings with your Partner?

(ThySistas.com) Honesty is the best policy when it comes to being in a successful relationship. A healthy relationship is one in which trust and open communication is at the foundation and both partners have a mutually respect the thoughts and feelings of the other.

Nonetheless there are times when openly sharing our feelings could backfire or lead to an argument or break up. We are all human and subject to making mistakes. Below are 4 moments when you should refrain from expressing yourself and your feelings to your partner.

·         When your partner is talking. Stop trying to steal the spotlight. What could you possibly have to say that is so important that you must cut your partner off when they are already speaking? One of the most disrespectful things we can do is cut our partner short when they are in the middle of expressing their feelings. Usually when we cut into someone else speaking, it is to defend ourselves. Save the resentment that comes from being cut short often and be attentive when your partner is sharing his or her feelings.

·         When you are wrong. Everyone is wrong from time to time. Accept that and own up to it when it is your turn. It is more effective in a relationship that you admit your fault and empathize with the effect your mistake had on your partner rather than trying to validate your wrong. When we attempt to express our feelings rather than dealing with the mistake we made, it makes our partner feel as though we are making excuses.

·         When you’re drunk. You can argue that drunk sex is the best sex but it certainly is not the time to discuss relationship issues, especially problems. Some people only feel comfortable to open up after having a few drinks. Liquid courage is not a healthy way to share your feelings. Your movement and brain function is impaired. Face the fact that you do not move or think the same when you are drunk, hence why people do things drunk that they can barely believe once sober. Do not let your relationship fail because of a drunken mess of words or emotions that should have been discussed while clear and sober.

·         When you are extremely angry. Relationship expert Jonathan Bennett explained that “Most fights happen when people are riled up, usually triggered by some comment or action of their partner. Many people think these emotionally charged moments are ideal for releasing feelings, but the opposite is true”. Unfortunately, only the anger comes out clearly, the feelings are rarely heard or dealt with because of the delivery. The most constructive way to communicate is when you are in a calm state of mind and after things have cooled down.

With everything, weigh things out before you open your mouths. In the heat of the moment it may feel as though the entire relationship is collapsing yet later you may find that your partner not taking out the trash or washing the dishes wasn’t that big of a deal. Take your time, fully process and understand your own feelings, then find the best time to communicate them to your partner.

Staff Writer; Dina Tuff

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