(ThySistas.com) No one is perfect. The tapestry of our life is filled with mistakes, and choices we wish we can change. There are a lot of sisters walking around with smiles on their faces, and hearts that are as heavy as bricks. So many have experienced pain, hardship, and trauma. It has become second natured for so many women to bury their disappointment, faults, mistakes and past wrong doing in their heart. This act of internal condemnation is dangerous as it leads to depression and anguish on the inside. Too many are hiding behind the mask of strength, and all of it is not forced.
It is very easy for women to say strength is expected of us so we bury our pain. Unfortunately, some of us do this and we don’t have
It is important to acknowledge that self love is, in part, the root of the problem. If we are not comfortable in our own skin it won’t matter how much love, and support we have. Accountability to one’s self is important in the quest to be free from internal anguish. Making excuses as to why we won’t accept ourselves will continue the dangerous cycle of condemnation.
This may sound like a very difficult step, but we must forgive self. So many women can muster forgiveness for others no matter what they do, but won’t forgive themselves the slightest indiscretion. Yes, we are human we make mistakes. Furthermore, we do make decisions against our best interest, and sometimes we knew better. So, all hell broke loose in your life at one point as the result of a bad, or blatant, choice. This does happen and you must forgive yourself, and let go. The act of condemning self can cause depression, blood pressure issues, anxiety disorder and these things can lead to greater illness as the body can’t handle that kind of negative energy long term.
It is important that you love yourself enough to leave your past where it belongs…behind you. It is not possible for you to carry that negativity right now, and into your future without consequence. This may seem like a difficult task, but self forgiveness starts with deciding to let condemnation go. There are many avenues whereby you can help yourself get from internal negative space to positivity. If you have family, and friends, that pour positivity into you allow that goodness to wash over you and fill your heart. Choose to accept the goodness. If it is necessary seek therapy or encouragement groups at a women’s center, church, mosque or have one recommended to you. The important thing is to take control of how you see yourself. This could possibly mean redefining your circle. It is hard to forgive yourself for your past and choose to love you when you have negative people speaking against positivity. Cut the dead weight and stick to your decision.
Self condemnation is painful, and dangerous on all fronts. We all have a past and thing we aren’t proud of. However, each day we are allowed to see is a chance to start anew. Forgive yourself, allow people to pour love into you, and let the negativity go. Your life is important, and your dreams and goals are worth pursuing. Don’t let your past and condemnation torment your present, and destroy your future. The choice is up to you.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr