(ThySistas.com) Society is surrounded and dripping in sex. It surrounds everything around us through television, media and our music. As a Black Single Christian Woman, how do you abstain, follow your desired path and not be tempted? Sex is important in a relationship, especially a marriage. But Sex was designed to be enjoyed; after all it was created as an act of worship.
Proverbs 5:18-19 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
Black Single Christian Women need to understand among anything else that your sexuality and sex life belongs to you. Regardless of your decision to wait for marriage or not, that’s your decision. But
Here are 4 key factors to consider:
1. Don’t Touch That- The power of touch is well, powerful. Now touching is not a bad thing, however one must understand how to handle it. Physical touch is an expression of emotional love. It is also one of the 5 love languages. But, understand that touch can lead to flesh initiated actions. These actions can lead to a potential road of complicated emotional headache that is unnecessary prior to marriage. It’s important to create safeguards to protect yourself from your own desires. Exercise being patient.
2. Follow the Leader- Men have the responsibility of setting the tone as they are generally tagged as the leader. Men are “head of household”, so it’s important that men are leading their partner in a safe and protected direction. As a Christian woman it is important to be mindful of where your companion is leading you. Do not allow to be taken advantage of.
3. Size Matters– The analogy of “shoe shopping” used in Terrance and Torsha Johnson’s book The Answer breaks this question done perfectly. When you go purchase a pair of stiletto’s but the size may be altered. So let’s say you are looking for a size 9 but when you try the shoe on you realize you need a size 9 ½. The shoe store was not incorrect in marking the shoe size. It was designed for a size 9 foot. Nonetheless, people come into the store to try it on. The shoe dimensions change. Same expectation with a potential Christian male suitor, you have to “stop allowing other FEET to get into your SHOE”. The shoe doesn’t fit properly because it has been tried on too many times.
4. Go Home- Spending the night with one another is not a good idea if you are trying to abstain and steer clear of purposeful temptation. Women are natural sexual beings. Men are natural sexual beings. It is the way we are all wired and designed. However, do not put yourself in a situation you know can disrupt your discipline (i.e. cuddling, kissing, touching) those are potential triggers. Go home at a decent hour when spending time at each other places. As granny used to say “Ain’t nothing open after midnight but legs and liquor stores”.
How does a Single Black Christian Woman handle being saved and sexual?
Reading Suggestions for the Single Black Christian Woman
The Answer by Terrance and Torsha Johnson
The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love by DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good
Every Woman’s Battle: Discovering God’s Plan for Sexual and Emotional by Shannon Ethridge
Staff Writer; Amber Ogden
One may also view more of her work over at; AmberOgden.com.