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    Categories: MotherhoodNewsOpinionRelationship TalkWeekly Columns

Self-Sufficiency: 4 Tips to Raising Stand-Up Adults from Birth.

(ThySistas.com) While parenthood is a lifelong journey, childhood is for a limited time only. As a mother of a soon to be 13 year old daughter, I’ll be the first to admit that the gift of parenting is a blessing and trial in itself. We hold the lives of innocent children in our hands. We are to nurture, love, feed, clothe, protect, guide and uplift our seeds. We are their first teachers in life. It is us who makes decisions regarding our children’s education, religion and health habits. Our job is a big deal!

In the midst of parenting, we, as individuals must also continue to grow spiritually and emotionally. We must fulfill our purpose and mission in life as well. I hear many parents who speak on wanting to give their child everything they didn’t have in life. We focus more on the giving of material things than we do on giving our children purpose, strength and the skills to lead.

Today, we’re discussing FREE lessons and experiences we can give to our youth in the process of us evolving into even better parents & human beings.

1. Let Them Make Decisions. The majority of youth today are indecisive and look to others for help making decisions. Many youth seek the advice of their peers, feeling as though their parents or adults in general, do not understand where they are coming from. Most parents take to heart the notion that “mother knows best”. We believe that we know what is best for our children at all times, the downside is that this belief stems from experiences in which we feel we failed in our own lives on most levels. We advise our children based on the mistakes we feel we’ve made in life as if we can ‘get it right’ via their actions. Rarely do we sit down, listen to our youth and help them make a sound decision rather than telling them what to do or what we would do. Teaching our children how to think critically, put all options on the table and determine possible outcomes for each action is how we create leaders who are responsible enough to stand on their decision.

2. Share your Knowledge. Whatever skills you may have, whatever you have mastered in life, the experiences both wonderful and difficult, should be shared with your seed. We are in a relationship with our children, just as we are with our mates. You must put in time, energy and communicate effectively for the relationship to flourish. There is a disconnect between adults and youth within our community. Adults come off judgmental and oppressive while the youth come off reckless and weak minded, neither side takes the opportunity to explore the other. By communicating and sharing our knowledge and of course allowing our children to do the same, we create an air of openness, understanding and compassion. We begin to see one another as individuals rather than someone we possess, for example: my mother, my father, my child.

3. Teach them to question everything and everyone, you included. If you are seeking answers, asking questions is imperative. Sadly many of us parents shut our youth down when they ask questions. We see asking questions of why, how and what if as signs of defiance. Many of us feel disrespected, if not threatened, when we tell our children to do something and they ask us why. How so? Why is it easier to answer “because I said so” than it is to give a logical answer? For example, you tell your youth to clean their room and they ask why if it’s their room. How difficult is it to teach them about the importance of cleanliness? The goal is to raise self-sufficient adults, not blind followers who grow up to be immature adults with no understanding of why their room should be cleaned other than my mommy said so.

4. Have Fun! Teach your youth how to be light-hearted and to enjoy life. Most of us teach our youth that without money life is a struggle, life has no value and that happiness isn’t a possibility. Each time that your youth invites you to an event whether it’s a movie, skating, shopping, etc. and we respond in the negative stating that we don’t have any money we teach them that money is the ruler. Getting in the kitchen and making homemade pizzas or rearranging the living room to have a throwback movie night is free. Some of my best memories include listening to my grandmother, aunts and mother tell stories about the crazy things they did when they were younger. Go to the park, volunteer at a food bank. Teach your youth that there is more to life than chasing money.

Staff Writer; Dina Tuff

Connect with Mystic Philosopher & Inner Fitness Coach Dina Tuff @

The Magick Playhouse; http://dinatuff.blogspot.com/

Twitter; https://twitter.com/DinaTuff

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